Leadership values — Crying CEOs, toxic bosses, and decadent leaders.
Leadership is not a 0/1 game it has 50 shades of gray. It’s also not a destination where you can one day look in the mirror and say: “I’ve done it” it’s a path, a way, a choice you make every day when you wake up. And when you deviate from that journey, you can always come back.
In years of working with digital businesses, I’ve seen those that pitched me and never came back, those that pivoted, went broke, grew, and some that were simply learning.
There are levels to this game
The challenge when studying leadership is that writers rarely separate the layers and different stages of the subject. The average reader feels overwhelmed by all the qualities, processes, and tactics a leader must master; most of the time, authors address high-level concepts on the matter without discussing the basics.
The white belt is thrown into the black belt training session, learning about 1:1 meetings, weekly calls, and feedback techniques. They have sophisticated knowledge without fundamental values, a tragic “Leaning tower of Pisa” syndrome.
But as with anything in life, there’s a place where you can start before you move to the more advanced tiers.
The steping stone for an aspiring leader is to become a trustworthy person.
“The first and greatest victory is to conquer yourself”
— Plato
Anyone can reach the 1st layer of leadership.
Becoming a trustworthy person is the cornerstone of anything else that comes after. Unlike the stereotypes around leadership, you don’t have to be a great communicator to take the first steps as a leader. Assertiveness and communication skills are important for a second-stage leader, but you don’t need them to begin your learning journey.
Everybody can reach the first level; introverts and extroverts, generalists and experts, juniors and seniors.
💡 The first layer of leadership is about conquering oneself.
Becoming trustworthy.
Oxford dictionary defines Trust as a “Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.”
These 4 attributes are interconnected, and they feed one another.
#1 Reliability: Be consistent with your actions and words; keep your promises. From a simple coffee appointment with a friend to a major commitment to saving money to buy a house with your spouse.
- Learn to say NO; this will help you to focus on the things that matter; reliable people are not magicians. But they have their priorities in place. If unsure about committing, you can always say, “I’ll think about it.”
- Time is essential to be seen as reliable, people must feel that they can call for you in time of need; when you understand that, you’ll treat the 24 hours of your day with care. When you say YES to everything, you spread your presence too thin for those around you.
#2 Truth: Be transparent about intentions, challenges, and situations. If plans change, speak up, and during a moment of crisis, let your followers know.
- When things don’t go as planned, some will see you as less competent, and others will understand that it’s part of the game. Either way is better to have some people momentarily questioning your skill than to hide it and have everyone mistrusting you once it’s too late.
#3 Emotional Strength: The emotional and mental resilience necessary in dealing with situations or events that are distressing or difficult. The capacity of a person to resist great force or pressure.
- When things go bad, people will look to the leader for reassurance. This 3rd quality is complementary to transparency because once you communicate a crisis and tell the truth, now is the time to show strength and be the anchor that people hold on to.
- The second aspect, Truth, is only useful when followed by emotional strength; otherwise, you’re just spreading uncertainty.
#4 Ability: Also called competence, that’s the contextual aspect of trust. We believe in people more or less depending on their field of expertise.
- Start leading people in the things you already know, it’s way easier.
- If you have to lead people in an area you’re not an expert, elect one advisor to be your consiglieri, so you can validate decisions before communicating to the main group.
How about the 2nd and 3rd layers of leadership?
When someone moves to other levels and forgets about the fundamentals, they become frail and unstable in their leadership positions.
As you add more layers of skills to your leader persona, the more you’ll be able to influence other people, and the harder it gets to manage yourself.
The first layer acts as the basis for building your high-level qualities.
Crying CEOs, Toxic bosses, and decadent leadership
Some reflections on what happens when leaders scale their 2nd and 3rd layers but lose touch with the fundamentals of being a trustworthy human.
The Crying CEO (real LinkedIn story)
✅ It could be: Reliable, Transparent, and Competent
❌ Emotionally Strong
In times of crisis, when faced with the need to fire employees, HyperSocial CEO Branden Wallake posted a long Linkedin post, crying. He intended to show empathy, or maybe he was just looking for external reassurance, but what people needed was a strong and stable leader providing encouragement for them and helping people on finding new jobs.
The Manipulative lier
✅ It could be: Reliable, Emotionally Strong, and Competent
❌ Transparent
This is not the case for a leader who holds bad news before communicating properly. Here we’re talking about those that omit crucial information until the last minute because it is convenient, those who, when faced with questions, tend to deviate, tell half-truths or simply deny it.
Many challenges come from not having your essential values in check… those are just a few examples of decadent leadership; it comes in many shades of gray…
Everlasting leaders build everlasting habits... aim to keep your primary principles sharp and you’ll have a strong foundation to grow as a leader
Becoming a trustworthy person, it’s just the beginning of a long road of self-improvement and growth.
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